If it doesn’t steal the breath from your lungs more times a day than you can count.
If it doesn’t crash into you the moment you get back home.
if it doesn’t tear your insides out every time you see certain pictures.
If it doesn’t feel like slow dying at that specific smell.
If you don’t unconsciously seek out a familiar face in every room you enter.
If unwanted memories don’t freeze the blood in your veins.
If not loneliness, but the lack of one company, doesn’t force tears to the back of your eyes.
If no communication doesn’t slice through your gut like the sharpest knife.
If the ache doesn’t drag you to your knees with internally screamed prayers.
If the pain you caused doesn’t destroy every moment you breathe.
If your soul doesn’t have a gaping, empty, unending black hole.
If you aren’t devistated that all the plans you made would now be lived alone.
If the cold, relentless waves of regret don’t drown you.
If you don’t feel like the most important part of you is missing… every moment of every day.
If you don’t feel like the most infuriating, frustrating, gloriously life affirming part of your life has disappeared…
If it’s not the worst thing that ever happened to you, then I guess we were never meant to be.
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